End of Another Summer

 The days are flying by so fast.  Nothing I do is slowing them down, even in the slightest.

This is one of our last summers with our oldest.  In just a few short weeks he is turning 17.  He's making plans for University - away, of course.  Either Toronto or Victoria.  I find myself taking big breaths as I think about him heading out, and stretching his wings.  I know he'll be fine, wherever he finds himself, because he is resourceful, and independent, and kind, and can find or make a friend in pretty much any crows.  But still.  He won't be at home with my watchful eye on him, making sure his laundry is getting done, that he's eating healthfully...  the one who made me a mom is preparing to leave the nest, and there's a certain tear behind the eyelid as I consider this.   So I'm treasuring every single day we are still tight in our group of five, with everyone safely ensconced in the bubble of love Aven and I have carefully constructed.  

We have waterslided, swam, beached, and gardened this summer.  It's been fun and full!  

Mav made the summer ball team playing for the Aldergrove Dodgers, so many summer afternoons and evenings were spent at the ball field.

I have picked many, many, many cucumbers so far this summer!  I have put up around 17 jars of pickles so far, and I'll likely can 5 or so more.  Today we're attempting homemade pizza sauce with the tomatoes we've picked so far, although there are still a lot of green ones.  This year's garden has been successful beyond my wildest expectations!  The hot sun has made all our veggies and flowers thrive!  This year I mixed in a lot of flowers with the veggies, and I find that the flowers give me a lot of joy and I will not have another garden without them. 

We also spent our annual week up at Camp Squeah, which was a welcome break from cooking and cleaning!  It was a few days to just have fun and recharge with the kids while enjoying classic summer camp activities.

 

Thanksgiving: Joy and Sorrow

Thanksgiving was a little different this year.  For one thing, we were only celebrating with Aven's side of the family as my mom had recently had her knee surgery and was not up for the long drive down to the valley or hosting up in Princeton.  

The other thing that was different this year is that we (Aven and I) were planning to let everyone in on our secret joy and tell them about the new family member that we would be expecting to join our family in May!

However, as life does, a twist was thrown at us when at my dating ultrasound two weeks before Thanksgiving, the embryo was only measuring at around 5 weeks instead of the 9 weeks that my dates indicated.  

When the ultrasound tech told me the baby was too small to see, I thought she was upset at me for mixing up my dates and I was embarrassed that I had wasted their time.  She told me to re-book a new appointment in two weeks and so I did that.  I was completely baffled as to how I could have got the dates so wrong.  

It wasn't until my mid-wife called the following week after receiving the ultrasound report and informed me that it was likely the baby wasn't growing and there was a strong change that I would miscarry did it even occur to me that it wasn't my date calculations that were the problem.  The mid-wife said there was still reason to hope for the best because sometimes dates could just be wonky but the most likely scenario here was a miscarriage.  I still felt very pregnant at that time, so I was sure it was a dates thing.  

However, as the days went by, I felt my energy levels increase and my nausea decrease that I began to believe that all might not be well.  

But I still kept on hoping for the best, and hosted Thanksgiving as planned which was such a wonderful time of family and good food!  After our big turkey dinner was feasted on and then cleaned up, we packed up the coffee maker, S'mores fixings, and other yummies and headed across the street to the other little property where Aven made a wonderful fire and we sat around and enjoyed coffee and deliciousness-ess and the cozy comfort that only be found gathered around a fire with those you love.

The only sorrow on that day was that I had started to bleed.

Two days later I miscarried the baby that would have been our fourth child.  We had been hoping for a boy.  A brother for M to rough around with.  A baby for W to love and cuddle and play with.  A rounding out of our family.  

It was early in the pregnancy.  I know that.   But, still, I will always carry the little one around in my heard because he was already there.

Uncle Tom playing Reverse Charades with the older kids.

Grandma and Auntie with the two little ones in the playroom.

Carving the bird.  Haha - love you, honey! 

Gathered around the table enjoying the good food.

Yum!

Set up, ready for part 2 of the evening.

Just enjoying the fire.

 

Look What I Found!!

Haha - it's my old blog!  I had actually totally forgot about it until I stumbled across it last night, while going through really, really old facebook posts.  Because I was bored.

But.  I found the old blog and it was SO FUN reading through the old posts because I had forgotten already so much that had happened.  And I thought to myself, "girl, you have got to start that writing back up again, because you know your memory is not what it used to be and you are going to want to remember all the crazy shit that's going down right now!"   Or, at least something close to that.

So, I'm really going to try to start up regular blogging again, and it will be mostly for myself so I can walk down memory lane now and again and remember and the silly and wonderful things the kids did and just what it was like at this particular stage of life.

I do want to note though, the loss of memory of this particular blog was not due to sitting around eating bonbons....  it has really been a particularly crazy busy last few years.  Not only did we welcome our sweet baby to the family (who is now 3.5 - what?!?!?) but we also sold the house we had been living in for 10 years in a drastic move to a fixer upper out in the country.

PLUS, our oldest is a teenager now.  So there's that.

So where to start....  the move is probably a good place.  Settle in kids - here's a good story! :)

So, back when our oldest was in grade 1, she had just the most phenomenal teacher.  This was a huge relief after a year with a terrible Kindergarten teacher.  Anyways, this grade 1 teacher, Mrs. Yee, thought H was just the smartest, most all around gifted student she'd ever met.  Sure to be Valedictorian one day.  Of course I completely agreed.  Anyways, Mrs. Yee encouraged me to get H into the local Fine Arts school as it would really cater to many of H's strengths.  Mrs. Yee's son also attended there and she could only say good things about the school.  So on the basis of that alone, without too much research into the school, I put her on the wait list.  For five years, we didn't hear a thing from the school.  Finally grade 7 came along and we received an email from the Fine Arts school saying that if H was still interested in attending the school we needed to attend an Info Night.

So, off we went, still fairly ambivalent as to whether it was the best thing for H to attend there or not.  Well, after the info session, I was ready to go back in time and enroll myself there.  It seemed perfect.  It seemed like this school would offer the challenge that H required as well as having a student body that was passionate about learning and eager to excel.  We quickly decided that it was now a priority for H to attend there.  The only problem was that we were living in a different school district than the one the Fine Arts was located in.  This put us at the bottom of the priority list as far as entrance to the school went.  We hmmmmd and hawwwwed and would randomly browse realtor.ca but nothing was looking quite right.

One day I came across a particular listing that was in the right location but it looked a bit of a mess.  We decided to drive by.  It WAS a mess.  A huge mess.  But it was a mess that Aven had the skill set and equipment to deal with.  We thought about it some more and then decided to walk through the house.  The house was horrible.  It stank of animals and dust and over used essential oils to try and mask the smell.  It was suffocating.  Every room was filled with boxes and junk.  But the bones of the house were good.  It was a functional layout.  And it was an acreage.

We thought and considered some more and then we had walk through number two with our own realtor.  The house was even worse the second time around, like the owners just didn't care.  They left a dirty doggy pee pad right in the middle of the living room!  Ewwww.  And there was bird crap everywhere.  It was going to need considerable renovation, to say the least.

In the end, we decided to go for it.  We bought it for way less than asking, thanks to Aven's negotiating skills, and sold our home for way more than asking, thanks to the favourable market of our old neighbourhood and the adventure began!

H had her auditions at the Fine Arts in Music and Visual Arts and after an interview with the Vice Principal, (who I coincidently when to High School with and whose mom was my piano teacher for a long time), she was invited to attend starting in her Grade 8 year!

So that all went according to plan and the renos happened and are, to be honest, not fully finished on the house - the fireplaces and chimneys still need to be addressed, we need new exterior doors and the decks need to be refinished as well.  There's probably a bunch of other stuff that I'm not remembering right now, too.

The renovation was fun!  We added a huge shower to the master ensuite because there was previously only a toilet and sink (with hair rinser!) and re-did the second bathroom upstairs that the kids use.

New flooring everywhere, the whole house was repainted, floor to ceiling, trim, everything, we put in new countertops, sink and faucet in the kitchen as well as added a tile backsplash.  New windows everywhere, new light fixtures and door hardware.... there was a lot!

This is the three kids this fall going back to school. H is 14, M is 9, W is 3.

We celebrated Thanksgiving inside with a big turkey dinner and then headed outside for a S'mores and coffee.   It was wonderful!

This is an "after" of the kids bathroom.  I'm really happy with how it turned out!

This is a "before" of the kitchen.  It wasn't horrible, but I didn't like the laminate countertop and there was no backsplash.  Also the window was the old aluminum frame with fake diamond panels.  

This is the "after" of the kitchen.  New flooring, window, countertop, sink, faucet, and tile backsplash.  We also removed the upper cabinets on either side of the window.  We didn't have them up in this picture yet, but there are now open shelves on either side of the window.

The living room with new flooring and paint.  We also added the dark beam to the rear of the room where it opens to the dining room and removed a section of wall there.

The front of the house with the front walk way in.  The irrigation and electrical still had to go in but at least it is now all level!

Here's a picture from just this September!  The irrigation and electrical are in and we have a lawn!!

There is still much to do on the outside - gardens and patios and sheds and stuff, but we're off to a good start and hopefully in the next year or two everything else will be complete!

Whew - this was a huge long post!  Time to call it a day, but I will be back! 

Big Changes

Well, it's been about four and a half months since I gave up working full time and things are going GREAT! 

There was a bit of a rough transition period for me which I was not expecting at all.  I thought I would have my last day at work and then I would be taking walks in the park, whistling merrily and enjoying every second of solitude that I had.

Instead, I found myself riddled with guilt that I was at home while my husband was working hard.  I was sleeping in while he was getting up early.  I was making next to no money but being the main spender.  I felt like I needed to be productive every minute, scrimp and save every penny I could, and just generally martyr myself while at home because I felt so, well, undeserving of it.

You have to realize, I have worked full time for the past 14-ish years.  I don't know what its like to not work full time.  I'm used to being an equal contributor financially to the household. 

This was all uncharted territory and it was terrifying.

Fortunately, when all the scary thought built up to much, and I confessed my stress and guilt to Aven, he would pep talk me around.  Poor guy.  He must have thought I was just ridiculous, but he would tell me so lovingly that this situation with me being at home with the kids was his ideal situation.  He likes working to provide this opportunity for us.  He loves having me be the one to take care of the kids.  He wanted me to take full advantage of this and enjoy it!  Enjoy it!?  Can you imagine? 

I was chatting with my ever-wise cousin the other day, and she expressed it so perfectly in that when something bad happens she (and I) tend to feel like its deserved somehow and to be taken on the chin.  But when something good happens, we feel guilty and undeserving and like we're cheating the universe somehow.  Like this must have been a mistake that we get this enjoyment and somehow, somewhere there will be payback.

These days, I'm managing to let go of the stress and stuff and actually sit for a minute when I have some time at home.  Also being 6 weeks away from my due date is helping that along! 

I am working part time as well, still - 10 hours a week doing the books for a law firm.  I do this while the kids are at school, and I also work 4 - 6 hours a week at the church in the office.  Both jobs are quite flexible and I'm liking the balance of work and home time. 

Once baby comes, that will be a whole new challenge.  But for now, there is not one thing that I would change about my life.  I couldn't ask for anything more or different, and I think, holy shit, that's pretty amazing. 

Here we Are

It feels like it's been a long journey getting to this point.

A dramatic and traumatic end to a job that I thought I would be at forever.

A solid year and a half working a full time job and a part time job with no vacation breaks.

A prayer and a plan that at the end of the year and a half, things would be infinitely better as I let go of the full time job to work part time and mostly from home during school hours.

Well, here we are.  Today is my last day at the full time job.  I'm being taken out for lunch, and then I'm a free agent.

Things are quite as I imagined them, of course.  Few things ever are.

Firstly and biggestly....  (biggestly?)  You know what I mean.  Do you know what I mean?

I mean, thing that will affect our future plans in the BIGGEST way....

...and that is - we're expecting a new baby!  So that's exciting and life changing in that I'm not going to have quite the amount of free time in the next 5 years that I was hoping for, but at the same time, I am so joyful that I will be at home and not have to worry about childcare for this new little one.  Both Mav and Hope are so excited as well.  Hope started crying when we told them, she was so happy.  She wishes for a little sister, and Mavi wants a brother.  Thing 3 (as we're calling this one) is due at the end of February 2015.

The other thing that is not as we were planning is involving Aven's job and a project that they landed up close to Shuswap.  This is a large project - the timeline is close to two years - and right up Aven's alley, skill set wise.  It will be hard if he ends up going, no doubt about it.  Especially with a new baby in the house.

Fortunately, I have a pretty good support system around me, and though there will be very tough moments, days, even weeks, it is all temporary and with help we'll survive it.

But back to today.

I will put in my four hours this morning, trying to give up every last bit of knowledge of this job that I'm storing to my replacement, we will go out for lunch, and then head home to celebrate the last day of our nanny - a big transition for her, too (and fortunately this comes at a good time for her as well).

Tonight we're heading out to The Keg to celebrate my independence, tomorrow we celebrate my little boy's 5th birthday, Sunday is a big family gathering at the park and then Monday, oh Monday....  my kids head up to my parents for the week and I am left alone at home.  Alone.  As in, by myself.  As in, I can do whatever the hell I feel like.

It has been a really long time since that's happened.  And I can't wait.  And I have to take advantage cause I only get 6 more months of it.

Have a great Friday!!

My Kids are Gone and I'm Lazy

The post title pretty much sums up this week so far for me.

The kids are off having a blast at family camp with my mom and dad and my brother and his family.

Last week, while they were still here, and I was visioning to myself what this current week would look like, I thought, "With no kids, I'll have so much time!  I'll clean the bathrooms!  I'll vacuum!  I'll have the house so clean and tidy by the time they come home!"

Ha.

I finally unloaded the dishwasher from Monday this morning and loaded all the dishes that were piling up around the sink.  Granted, it's not like I've done much cooking this week, but there were some breakfast dishes and lunch containers hanging around.

I did also try to straighten up a little yesterday evening.

That's about been the extent of it.

Because it's like with no kids around, I'm on vacation when I'm at home.  and then it's very difficult to motivate myself to do anything at home that feels kinda like work.

So there it is.

Today, I might try to finish the job I started cleaning out our little office/den area.  And maybe I can persuade dear hubby to make a run to Salvation Army and drop a bunch of stuff off.  That would be productive.

I'll let you know how it goes.

I am in bit of a dilemmas as to where to put my keyboard.  It's really a full size electric piano.  It's currently in the little office/den, but we want to move it out of there and have that room be entirely office.  The problem is where the heck to put the thing.  There is no space for it anywhere else on the main floor.  That leave upstairs - we have a loft area that it would fit in, or in the basement...somewhere....also not tons of room there.  And I don't like to go down to the basement too, too much.  It's just so... basementy.  Maybe it's a hang-up from when we used to live in basement suites early in our married life.  I just don't like them and try to avoid basements whenever possible.

This makes life interesting as my office is in the basement.  And I expect I will be doing a lot of work down there in the coming months/years.  It is bright and cheery with a nice window.  I just need to get over myself.

Kinda got off topic there... so anyways, I guess we'll figure something out about where to put the keyboard. I'm worried it will just feel weird to have a piano upstairs by the bedrooms.  Do you think it would feel weird?   Like, who has their piano upstairs?  No one.  There's a reason for this.  And it's probably that pianos are super heavy and no one wants to drag them up an extra flight of stairs if they don't have to.

All right, well, have a great day and we'll chat soon!

Big Changes

Well, it has been a while since I put anything out there.

Things have been busy, what with the family, a full time job and a part time job...

BUT.

And this is the exciting part.. (!!!)

All of that is about to change!

I have given my notice at my full time job and starting August 15th, 2014.... (drum roll please)

I will be only working part time and most of it from home!!!

I'm almost a little bit giddy with excitement about that.  My whole working life, since graduation from BCIT way back when, I've been full time.

This, my friends, is a whole new life for me, and I cannot wait.

As things go on in September, I will fill you in more on what I'm doing - since I'll have more time and everything - and give you more specifics.   But for now, suffice to say that my employment status is going for a big change and there's nothing but blue sky ahead!

And in the mean time, I'm still putting in my 8 to 4 and counting the days.  It does feel very good that my employers are sad to see me go and ask me daily if I've reconsidered.  I do love being loved.  :o)


In other news, I was in a car accident a month or so ago, and my little car ended up being declared a total loss.  Fortunately there were no injuries - it was just me in my car and I wasn't even sore the next day.  Like not even a little bit.  But that meant I was on the hunt for a new vehicle.  I had been wanting something a little bigger anyways, so this was the time to make it happen.

I am now the proud owner / driver of a minivan.  It's a minivan.  What  can I say.  I never wanted one. Never in my wildest dreams pictured myself having one.  It's not even a fancy new one.  It's a bit older.  It's pretty plane jane.  But it serves the purpose and I am happy about that.  The kids love it, so there's that.  It's been dubbed 'Mini' although it is anything but.  My daughter thought this was pretty clever, though.

This summer has been off to a good start - we spend three nights in a cottage at Birch Bay which was lovely in that it just wasn't home and we all got a good change of pace and relaxation.

Last weekend we hit Playland with some family and enjoyed zero lines and a fantastic time!

The kids are off to Camp Squeah with my mom and dad and my brother and his family for a week, so they are super excited for that.  I wish I was going, too.  Hopefully next year!

Our little boy has started flag football and I'm not sure who is loving it more - Mav or Aven.  :o)

I haven't seen a practice yet, but I'm taking Mav to his practice tomorrow morning since Aven has to work. Aven warned me - there's strict rules that the players aren't allowed to talk to their parents during practice. No waving or blowing kisses or thumbs up.  I think his warning was more for me than Mav.  It's going to be hard not sneaking a little wave or thumbs up in. But I will do my best.

Aven loves how tough the coaching is for this - they don't tolerate any flak or inattention from the players. And I just keep thinking..."but he's only four!...."   still.  it's probably a good thing for the kids. I concede.

Aven and I celebrated our 13 year Anniversary at the beginning of July.  We're headed out for dinner on Saturday night and then I'm dragging them all in for our 'mugshots' as Aven calls the annual Sears family portrait on Sunday.  He hates the process but loves having the pictures and looking back over the years.

I hope you're doing well, my two readers, and hopefully I'll keep this up a little more regularly in the coming months. I have high hopes for myself.  :o)